Guide To Feeding The Ducks

FROM HIM: Importantly make sure it’s a nice, brisk winter’s day. If your child’s face is not bright red within ten seconds and too cold to touch without your fingers sticking to their cheek then you’ve picked a day that’s not cold enough. Stay indoors until it’s cold enough. If they look confused and in […]


Another Guided Tour Of Our Marriage But From Him

FROM HIM: The mother-in-law has a house so clean you can eat shit off the floor and not get ill, and although in most respects the apple did not fall far from the tree, washing up isn’t one of them. The wife’s idea of good washing up is eating.   Me: Did you wash this […]

Dunham Massey

In Which I Nearly Blind Edgar At Dunham Massey

FROM HER: The husband and I recently confessed to some friends that we are so regimented in our daily lives that we know exactly what we’ll be eating for dinner every evening between now and the New Year. We’re like a mathematically gifted child that can tell you exactly what day of the week it […]