Brown Fish

Shit In The Bath

FROM HIM: As Edgar has been nearing two and his communication skills are getting better it’s easy to mistake him for a small gentleman or scholar. This illusion is instantly dispelled though now he’s done a shit in the bath. We thought that out miracle creation was of the ilk that spurned shitting in the […]


Guide To Feeding The Ducks

FROM HIM: Importantly make sure it’s a nice, brisk winter’s day. If your child’s face is not bright red within ten seconds and too cold to touch without your fingers sticking to their cheek then you’ve picked a day that’s not cold enough. Stay indoors until it’s cold enough. If they look confused and in […]


Another Guided Tour Of Our Marriage But From Him

FROM HIM: The mother-in-law has a house so clean you can eat shit off the floor and not get ill, and although in most respects the apple did not fall far from the tree, washing up isn’t one of them. The wife’s idea of good washing up is eating.   Me: Did you wash this […]