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Potty Training: The Prequel

If you are reading this expecting a post with advice on how to potty train your child, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place. This is the prequel to potty training. This is about the stage that happens after your child is capable of saying the words ‘urinate’ and ‘defecate’ but before they can actually […]


Halfway Down The Stairs – My New Home

FROM HIM: Halfway down the stairs is the stair where I sit, The other fucking stairs are just like it, I’m not at the bottom, I’m not at the top, But this is the stair where Edgar makes me stop.   Whatever happened to Robin the frog anyway? Just that one song and then he […]


What To Expect When You’ve Gone And Done A Baby

FROM HIM: Expect to be ill. Nowadays whenever someone tells me they’re pregnant, I substitute ‘Congratulations’ for ‘I hope you live near a Doctor’ or ‘Have you stockpiled antibiotics?’ Your child will never be well. You will never be well. Ever. Children when they’re well are excitable in a fun way, they laugh, smile, run, […]